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Something to Talk About

2

3 Months!

Everything has happened, so let’s have a photo dump:

1. Halloween happened and it was awesome.

Ghost Bride and Harry Potter

Ghost Bride and Harry Potter

Moaning Myrtle married Harry Potter?  Nah.  I asked Robin what her back story was and she said her father murdered her right before she got married.  What the fuck, kid.

My BABY in a WEDDING DRESS.

My BABY in a WEDDING DRESS.

Her dress is a Cheapos Thrift find for either $5 or $10.  I can’t remember now.  I believe it’s a size 4, so lots of alterations.  I appreciate how the kids seem to be taking turns wanting homemade vs. store bought costumes which makes me very grateful.  My wrists are 99% now and I can do things.  Without pain, even!

Now I have TWO strong hands.

Now I have TWO strong hands.

2.  Joshua became a Cobra Kai.

Serious kid is serious.

Serious kid is serious.

Okay, maybe not.  His uniform has sleeves, so he can’t be Cobra Kai.  Yet.  He joined the intermediate black belt training, tested for his second level brown belt (red is next!) and started weapons training.

I’m particularly proud of how dedicated he is.  $200 of his own money went to paying for gear (weapons, bag, pads).  He is getting $25 a month back from Mom and Dad, but he made the initial investment.  He’s more mature and responsible than I am.

3.  There was an election of some sort which I deem completely unnecessary for discussion here.

Regardless of which side, your vote didn't matter.

Regardless of which side, your vote didn’t matter.

4.  Robin started with a new violin teacher.  She’s also now in a 1/4 size violin.  She also had a birthday and it was all good.

“hair crayons” are exactly what they sound like.

5.  Christmas!  I honestly don’t have any good pictures of the kids from Christmas because I’m an asshole I guess.  But I have the next best thing:

Santa is shorter in person.

Santa is shorter in person.

His elves are adorable jerks, though.

His elves are adorable jerks, though.

It has a HOOD!

It has a HOOD!

He couldn't care less that is has a hood.

He couldn’t care less that is has a hood.

6.  We had a blizzard and it was horrifying.

Behold the wrath of Mother Nature!

Behold the wrath of Mother Nature!

In case I didn’t feel crazy enough, I’ve decided to do ChÜberlist 2017 – The Year of the Slug.  It’s already a couple of weeks late so I’m off to a great start.

I'm getting ready, 2017.  Time to get serious.

I’m getting ready, 2017. Time to get serious.

Goodnight, Demonslayer

0

There’s a monster that lives ‘neath your bed
Oh for crying out loud it’s a futon on the floor
He must be flat as a boardThere’s a creature that lurks behind the door
Though I’ve checked there 15 times
When I leave then he arrives
Every night

Tell the monster that lives ‘neath your bed
To go somewhere else instead
Or you’ll kick him in the head

Tell the creature that lurks behind the door
If he knows what’s good he won’t come here anymore
Cause you’ll kick in his butt at the count of four

Goodnight demon slayer, goodnight
Now it’s time to close your tired eyes
There are devils to slay and dragons to ride
If they see you coming, hell they better hide

Goodnight, goodnight, goodnight
Goodnight my little slayer goodnight

Tell the monster that eats children, that you taste bad
And you’re sure you’d be the worst that he’s ever had
If he eats you, don’t you fret, just cut him open with an axe
Don’t regret it, he deserved it, he’s a cad

Tell the harpies that land on your bed post
That at the count of five you’ll roast them alive
Tell the devil its time you gave him his due
He should go back to hell, he should shake in his shoes
Cause the mightiest, scariest, creature is you

Goodnight demon slayer, goodnight
Now it’s time to close your tired eyes
There are devils to slay and dragons to ride
If they see you coming, hell they better hide

Goodnight, goodnight, goodnight
Goodnight my little slayer goodnight

I won’t tell you, there’s nothing ‘neath your bed
I won’t tell you, that it’s all in your head
This world of ours is not as it seems
The monsters are real but not in your dreams
Learn what you can from the beasts you defeat,
you’ll need it for some of the people you meet

Goodnight demon slayer, goodnight
Now it’s time to close your tired eyes
There are devils to slay and dragons to ride
If they see you coming, hell they better hide

Goodnight, goodnight, goodnight
Goodnight my little slayer goodnight

Goodnight, goodnight, goodnight
Goodnight

This is easily one of my favorite songs, let alone a Halloween standard.  It’s beautiful and I say that completely without sarcasm.  The violin.  The violin!

What were we talking about?

0

Oh yeah.

Coulrophobia:  [kool-ruhfoh-bee-uh] n. 1. An abnormal fear of clowns.

Kindergarten, 5 years old: Color and cut out the pieces of the clowns face and glue them onto this other piece of paper to make a happy clown!

sinister

I colored and cut it out and then I used too much glue.  I cried and cried because I had ruined it.  Spoiler:  it was not ruined because Elmer’s School Glue dries clear.  I was inconsolable.  Literally, my kindergarten teacher was holding me and rocking me back and forth to try to get me to calm down.  Thank you, Mrs. Garavaglia.  You were the best.

Pierrot clowns

spooky

They fall into the umbrella category of dolls.  I hate porcelain dolls.  Some are strikingly beautiful, but there is something sinister to me about dolls.  Dolls have been used in ritual magic from the dawn of time and are believed to be able to house the souls of the dead.

vintage

The movie Dolls, even with its terrible acting and special effects pretty much ruined me for life.  I rented that movie for a sleepover and again, no adult ever thought a thing about it.  Also, I rented that VHS movie because I’m old as hell.

Zeebo the Clown, and anything from Are You Afraid of the Dark?

ded

The intro says more than I ever could:

The clown from Poltergeist.

nightmare

It’s not chair scene, but still terrifying.  That chair scene kills me every time.

Ronald McDonald.  My sister told me that he raped kids.

life destroying

Jack in the Boxes

terrifying

Okay, not all of them are scary.  Look at this cute thing:

adorable

You know who wasn’t scary to me, though?  Bozo the Clown.  Thanks to WGN Chicago I watched him and his sidekick Cooky  and dreamed of throwing the ping pong balls in the numbered buckets.

endearing

I would never have been on the show but I still had that stage fright anxiety that I wouldn’t get a ping pong ball even in the first bucket.  I did not need to fail spectacularly in an ultra embarrassing way on national television.

Enough about clowns already!  Back to other pointless programming.