chukichi

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Tag Archives: health

No, I don’t want a sweater thing

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So my new thing is hanging out in doctors’ offices and my craft-turned-bed room.  I’m going to ignore the second part of that sentence and focus on the general annoyance that is “being sick”.  That generalized “I’m sick” when there’s really nothing wrong with you maybe.  For the ten-thousandth time in my life, my blood work came back negative for any thyroid problems.

It’s not lupus. Or your thyroid.

I have all the blood and iron I’m supposed to have.  My bad cholesterol isn’t high, but I should look at it.  LOOOOK AT EEEET!  My blood pressure is great.  Reminds me of a John Pinette joke where he goes to the doctor and he’s healthy and they can’t believe HE would be healthy on paper.

So basically I’m tired.  I’m on an antidepressant.  This is good; it’s one I’ve been on for years (we took a break but now we’re seeing each other again).  Now, when you first start up this medication, it can make you tired.  It’s a progressive dose starter pack; this time, as the last time, I was fucking tired each time I started a new dose, but by the second or third week of full dosing I was fine.  Same this time.  I also had an anti anxiety pill specifically for sleeping and night terrors.  I needed it maybe once or twice for a day time thing but I don’t have an up to date rx for that.  That’s fine, I don’t really have night terrors right now.  Bad dreams are not night terrors.

I’m so fucking exhausted.  Like, fall asleep at 7 PM and sleep until 10 AM exhausted.  Like, do your physical therapy exercises and fall asleep counting out your 30 second stretch.  Yes I can set my alarm and wake up.  And then fall asleep on the floor before I make it out of the room.  I could drink coffee and get diarrhea.  Not every time, but maybe 50-60% of the time.  So that’s a fun roulette game.  I can drink coffee if it’s like, 30% coffee, 60% milk/cream, 10% sugar.  That’s not very good for me either, so no.  I started trying to drink a soda in the morning but that was just so fucking unacceptable and worthy enough to make others lose respect for me.  So whee for me, because I love having guilt and self-revulsion attached to diet soda.

I’m fully aware that depression makes you sleep all the time.  Or not sleep enough.  Or maybe for some people sleep exactly the right amount (bastards).  But everyone is different, and as a rule, when I’m on medication I don’t have this problem.  So maybe my body chemistry has changed, maybe this drug doesn’t work as well, maybe I need an additional drug, maybe that additional drug is meth.  I’m not really fancy enough for cocaine, you know.

Since I’ve been sleeping so much, I’ve been making the most of that time by having 1) bad dreams, 2) frustrating dreams, and 3) sad dreams.  One night I had this looping dream about zombies; every time I thought I could escape I’d open the door and was back at the beginning (type 1 and 2).  One of the dreams from this morning (type 2 and 3) I was starting my first day in a grocery store but I didn’t even know what I was supposed to do.  I guess I was supposed to bag groceries after people checked out, but I had to ring them up again? The first man was this old man who was very patient but nothing had a bar code on it and he had things in his cart like 3 buttons from a 5 button pack.  People were getting annoyed and then my dad was there and I asked him if he could get someone to help me.  As he was going he asked if I wanted one of the sweater things that the other cashiers wore (like the smock from Publix) and I yelled at him that I “No, I don’t want a sweater thing!”  The line was snaking around while I was trying to figure out my job.

“No, no, no. That’ll never happen. They would never hire you at Whole Foods.” Do you know what that quote is from??

Dammit, Dad.  Isn’t there a liquor store you can haunt?  Or a cat to go spook somewhere?  I mean, seriously, what a fucking dad thing to say when I need help.  I don’t need a sweater thing.  I don’t know what I need.

Dirty Hippy: Day Two

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From yesterday:

***Update*** Did a 1:1 ratio of castor oil and grapeseed oil with two drops of lemon eucalyptus essential oil.  Massaged for about an hour while I played DoA (nerdy AND vain).  Didn’t have the same result as other posts I’ve read: I didn’t feel any crud actually come out of my skin.  This is probably because I scrubbed my face in the shower earlier in the evening because I’m stupid and scatterbrained.  My face felt tight after I washed the oil off but I’m going to attribute that to having washed my face a bajillion times and pore stripping.  It went away after a bit and my face felt like I had scrubbed my face really good.  Was that the antiseptic quality of the castor oil?  I saved my left over oil in the fridge and will let it come to room temp before using it again.  I only used 1 tsp of each and had some left over; maybe I used to little?  Whatever.  I’m not going to tweak just yet other than add maybe one more drop of essential oil to the 2 tsp mix.  I solemnly swear that I will continue this mixture for at least 4 full days before tweaking the ratio or switching to jojoba oil.  On the plus side, I am absolutely not greasy or cruddy today.  I wiped my face with a warm washcloth this morning just because it’s weird if I don’t do that.  So far:  pleased with the results.

Okay, day two.  Still the same ratio.  I think I am washing the oil away too much.  Today was more dry/tight than yesterday.

Not really, but you know it felt this way.

I am using a washcloth to wash the oil off of my face because it’s not like castor oil just rinses away easy peasy.   Tonight I had to use three drops of grape seed oil to re-hydrate my face after washing.  Right now I feel fine.  Tomorrow I am going to just to the dabbing thing–no wiping (why does my mind always go straight to toilet humor?).  If that doesn’t work, I’m going to change the ratio to 2:1 grape seed:castor oil.  If that doesn’t work, I’ll switch to jojoba oil.  And if that doesn’t work I’ll probably give up because I’m a quitter.

Dirty Hippy

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Not too terrible much to report here lately; still embroidering the Halloween blanket.  I was sure I wasn’t going to do “too much” but now it looks like I’m going to embroider every other square or so.  I’d probably be done by now except I keep playing stupid Dragons of Atlantis like a nerd.  I’ll show pictures soon; hopefully I can start quilting next week.

In other news, I was farting around the internet today and came across something called OCM:  Oil Cleansing method.  I’ve heard about it before but fuck that shit I preferred other methods of washing my face.  I’ve spent tons of money on cleansers, pore strips, pore minimizers, moisturizers, do-dads, spa treatments, voodoo, etc and nothing has really worked.  So, after looking around a bit (here and here) I decided to run up to Mother Nature’s Market and buy a bunch of goodies.

Pictured: Goodies. Also pictured: my efforts to obtain Stone Dragon Armor.

So…I guess I’ll start this tonight because my life is so exciting.  From L-R: jojoba oil, grapeseed oil, jasmine essential oil, lemon & eucalyptus oil and castor oil.  About $40 for all of that.  I choked a little bit at the price, but I’ve also purchased $70 pore minimizing lotion and tons of stupid spa crap that I don’t think really worked for me.  Not to say that it doesn’t work.  Just not on me.  I’ll update this periodically because I’m curious to see if I can give up the Biore routine to which I am so addicted.  I’m not going to link the videos here because they’re gross, but it seems like there are quite a few Asians with Biore pore strip addictions (not just me).  I also saw a fantastic video of how to make the strips more effective by allowing a mixture of 1 tsp baking soda diluted in 1 c water to soak into your skin for about 10 minutes prior to pore stripping.  Honestly, I am probably going to do that tonight, too.

***Update***  The baking soda/water thing didn’t really do anything for me.  I am officially Biore pore strip free as of 9:19 PM EST.

***Update*** Did a 1:1 ratio of castor oil and grapeseed oil with two drops of lemon eucalyptus essential oil.  Massaged for about an hour while I played DoA (nerdy AND vain).  Didn’t have the same result as other posts I’ve read: I didn’t feel any crud actually come out of my skin.  This is probably because I scrubbed my face in the shower earlier in the evening because I’m stupid and scatterbrained.  My face felt tight after I washed the oil off but I’m going to attribute that to having washed my face a bajillion times and pore stripping.  It went away after a bit and my face felt like I had scrubbed my face really good.  Was that the antiseptic quality of the castor oil?  I saved my left over oil in the fridge and will let it come to room temp before using it again.  I only used 1 tsp of each and had some left over; maybe I used to little?  Whatever.  I’m not going to tweak just yet other than add maybe one more drop of essential oil to the 2 tsp mix.  I solemnly swear that I will continue this mixture for at least 4 full days before tweaking the ratio or switching to jojoba oil.  On the plus side, I am absolutely not greasy or cruddy today.  I wiped my face with a warm washcloth this morning just because it’s weird if I don’t do that.  So far:  pleased with the results.