this thing is still about things

Tag Archives: christmas

RE: ChÜberlist 2012


Oh what a fucking fuck fuck this year has been.  First, the numbers:

Of the whopping 38 things I wanted to do this year, I did 17 things.   Ugh.  45% is not my worst by any means, but I seriously expected to do better since I had fewer items on my list.  And then everything went all to shit and here we are.  I think I’ll declare that from now on, election years are totally out of the question.  Or maybe years when a parent dies. Or when a cat dies.  Or while I have children living in my home.

Oh fuck it.  You know I’m already working on my ChÜberlist 2013, right?  Masochist.

I do have plans, you know.  For instance, this:

Look at that crazy person handwriting.

In other news, I hope you had a nice Christmas or Hanukkah  or Winter Solstice or what the fuck ever you were doing for the past few weeks.

My sole Christmas present. She’s cute, though.  The laptop doesn’t count.

New Year’s Eve is here and I plan on having a better time this year.  No apocalypses scheduled, no serious drama on the horizon.  Famous last words, right?

Some People Have Problems


And when I say problems, I mean this:

Why is my goblin dressed like a stripper?

Someone.  Someone explain to me why my goblin is wearing a halter top, bikini underwear and garters.   Thanks a lot, heirloom gear.  I understand that the WoW demographic is overwhelmingly male, but really?  This?

You know what?  I don’t want to know.  Let’s just leave this question alone.

And since I’m talking about problems, I guess I’ll note here that it’s almost 1 AM and I’m having sleep anxiety again.  I guess I’ll take something.  I had a terrible dream this morning.  It was not the scariest, per se, but let’s just say that it was easily the most disturbing dream I’ve had.  I tried to ignore it but the acid in my stomach just exploded.  Of course it did.  Because why wouldn’t it when I’m taking the kids out to breakfast and to drop off letters to Santa and the neighbors are outside?  Opening the car door and puking in your driveway is just another way to stay classy, I suppose.

On the upside, Christmas cards are done, blank pages are being sent to the North Pole (like I’d really send off my first born man child’s Christmas list that he wrote with his own hand!) and it’s finally cold enough for me to wear a tee shirt instead of tank tops.  Everyone else is in footie pjs and sweatshirts but they are lucky I’m not opening the windows.  Cold enough to make soup for dinner.  I wish it would last for a couple months at least instead of a few days.

Fun fact: my son was having trouble with the n in “thank you” but he can spell Nerf Blaster  easy peasy.  Thank you, target advertising.  It’s the only thing he asked Santa for because Santa has a lot to do and he knows Mom does most of the shopping anyway.  SMART BOY.

I have more to discuss like my new baby but it can be summed up here:

Yeah…pretty accurate, actually. I’M VERY EXCITABLE!

This is pretty much my Christmas, Hanukkah  New Year’s, Valentine’s Day, St. Patrick’s Day, Tax Season End present.  I will take it and be grateful.

Merry Christmas Eve and some other stuff


Christmastime is strange now.  I have another adult in the house and am allowed to go to the bathroom with the door shut.  It’s like bizarro world here.

Maybe not so bizarro; there is still laundry everywhere.

My exciting day is going to be filled with laundry and cleaning.  I just don’t like having the house a mess on Christmas.

In other news, I had a dream about my grandmother last night.  She was there and then she wasn’t.  I described it as how people see ghosts–she didn’t look like how she did the last time I saw her (5 years ago).  She was younger, thinner.  Her hair was different.  she was my Grandmother from 10 or 15 years ago.  When I woke up, I cried as if she had just died, not as if I found out via Google over a year later.  I still have a headache from it.  I’ve never had a dream about my Grandmother.

So after a big Christmas Eve breakfast, lots of coffee and watching sea otters*, I’m hanging out watching Roseanne and it’s the episode where Becky has to get birth control.  This episode makes me crazy.  How am I going to do this with my kids?  I don’t want to have this conversation.  It makes me want to brick up the house with the kids inside.

Scratch that.  I don’t want them to get all Flowers in the Attic-y.

I think I’m going to set up a system where we have to talk about something terrible and uncomfortable like, once a month or something.

Pick an STD out of the hat!

The Christmas gifts I sent this week were received yesterday in good shape.  Cookies were eaten, woolies were worn.  I’m actively working on two gifts, which thankfully do not have a deadline.  I’m well past the deadline.

*Fun fact:  Otters have 1 million hairs per square inch; compare that to dogs which have 100,000 hairs per square inch.  Thanks, Jeff Corwin!