Or maybe none of the things. I suppose this is the new semi-annual blog post, full of apologies for not blogging and bursting with excuses about life and time and blah, blah, blah.
I mean, it’s fine. There are only like, 3 people that read this anymore and I’m fine with that. The thing that *does* bother me is that I actually like doing this whole blogging thing regardless of readership. I’m definitely that kind of idiot that laughs at my own jokes and appreciates my own honest stupidity. I like documenting the good and ridiculous parts of my life–the minutiae that makes me happy and frustrated and moronic on a daily basis. I hate only keeping a secret hidden diary that goes in depth with all of the über-dark feelings that are terrifying in the light of day. I’ve been keeping a list of things I want to blog about and if I really applied myself like all of those teachers in middle school told me to do, I would have ten thousand pages of content.
But yeah, no.
In the past 6 months or so there has been so much going on. Things that in the moment feel like tumultuous life changes, both positive and negative but now, over time, don’t seem nearly as big. For the most part, this is a good thing. I don’t want an exciting life. I’m old, goddammit and I’m tired and I want the enjoyment of predictability, not the anxiety of a shit storm around each corner. Life in general has been overwhelming and I feel a desperation to shoehorn in ME time. And then I feel guilty when I’m so tired that ME time is just playing cell phone games or watching YouTube videos about washing cars. Seriously, if you’re not subbed to Stauffer Garage what are you even doing with your life?
I have 3 hours of dedicated work time on Saturdays (more on that eventually) so ideally I’ll use that time wisely and write at least a little bit. Until the next super delayed post!