chukichi

this thing is still about things

Tag Archives: addiction

Shamanistic Soul Retreival: How to save a life

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Source: Shamanistic Soul Retreival: How to save a life

I follow this great blog and you should, too.  Honestly, I do my best *not* to read it too often.  I can’t always handle it.  This particular blog caught my eye and I got sucked in to reading it.

So many. So much.

I wish I had this kind of experience when I was in the hospital.  The whole thing felt like a formality, really.  “Let’s stay here for a few days so that we can bill her an exorbitant amount of money.  Yay!” I think I had one nurse two times, but never the same nurse two days in a row.  Then again, I was already in the psych ward, not in the medical ward.  I wonder if that’s on purpose?  No psychiatric referral and right back into the same situation that got me there in the first place.  No counseling referral.  Then again, if they concerned themselves with helping and healing, they would be out of so much money.

Life and everything in it are worlds better than back then.  I still get these very panicky days where I feel like maybe nothing has changed.  Medicine isn’t working.  Nothing is different.  I am not different.  But the difference is that I can have these feelings and they don’t last.  They don’t swallow me.  I don’t drown in them.  I’m conscious that these things *can* happen and I try to be aware of it.  I’m by no means perfect nor is anyone or anything around me.

So read this blog so we can divide up all of these feels, because I am absolutely not going to read another one for a while.

SUPER ALL CAPS CHALLENGE

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I’m seriously considering something.  As in, actually taking into consideration.  I think I need to go on a social media fast.  I need to break free.  Hole up.  Quit being baited into caring about things that I shouldn’t.  Case in point: Ahmed Mohamed and the clusterfuck fiasco that followed.  There is plenty out there, Google it and read up if you’re not aware.  I’m angry.

This gif is never not necessary.

I’m angry about this whole thing, top to bottom.

  • that a school would call police rather than parents
  • that the first teacher didn’t diffuse the situation or even hold the clock for the school day to help avoid the situation
  • that a boy who built a clock and maintained that it was nothing more than a clock and never showed it to anyone else but a teacher who could confirm it was a clock was handcuffed “for his own safety and the safety of others” and humiliated
  • that the media twists things around to inspire/enrage society
  • the people said it was completely planned for the President’s agenda
  • that the boy’s dad is a politician from Sudan and maybe it was all planned
  • that social and public outcry is the only thing that gets noticed, but if you have something that needs social and public outcry you are just an attention whore
  • I’ve put way too much time, attention and emotion into this and the ‘news’ in general (because let’s face it, a lot of this is not news

Maybe not a full on social media fast.  Blogs are considered social media, no?  Maybe no Facebook.  Should I start with Facebook and work in Twitter and Imgur?  I hate/love them all.  What if I have a question for a large group of people?  What about my home school groups?  What about blogs?  Comics?  TV news?

I think this sounds like I want to put my head in the sand and not see the ills of the world.  That’s not completely untrue, but for me, I know how I react.  I get angry, I get emotionally involved and frankly, I don’t want to do that.  If you believe in things like energy from emotion and whatnot, I don’t need that kind of energy in my life, let alone my home.  I feel like it turns me into some kind of zealot or an uneducated naive suburbanite.  I simply don’t want the headache of it.  I don’t want the online pissing contests.  I don’t want the distraction.

#seriously #oldlife #4PMdinnerftw

I don’t like that these things bleed into my blog, which is supposed to be a repository of refinement.  Or is it an archive of atrocity?  Whatever it is, it’s not supposed to be this.  I need to figure out how to insulate my emotions without suffocating my reasoning.  I need to think about how to actually do that.

Okay.  Here’s what I’ll do.  My plan for the rest of the year:

Facebook – hide everyone except for home school/educational groups.  This way I can still communicate with my friends but not have to see the shit they post (good or bad)
Twitter – ignore
Imgur – ignore

I’ll still read blogs and comics and Youtube and Netflix.  That’s fair, right?  Those things are for school or for an escape or for both.  I just hope I can do it, because I really feel like I need this.  I worry I’m going to get drawn back into it all because let’s face it, it’s fun and addicting.

Valentine’s Day Recap

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My Valentine’s Day was actually pretty great this year.  I’m a dork and half so when I got these, I was So! Excited!

I FUCKING LOVE PUZZLES!

As you may have seen previously, I really do fucking love puzzles.  So the Mr. got me this, this and this off of my Amazon Wishlist.  I think I’m most excited about the Proverbidioms puzzle.  It’s very surreal and it’s fun sitting there trying to figure out the proverbs and idioms.  There are supposed to be 300 and I’m not going to look it up online; I’d rather figure it out myself.  Nerdy excitement!

Here is the aftermath of dinner:

Don't judge me for my messy kitchen. There are so many other things to judge me for.

Outback dinner sucked so bad. I ordered online for curbside pick up; the time they gave me was 7:30.  The Mr. was there by 7 waiting patiently in line.  And waited and waited and waited for 40 minutes.  Then they brought him the wrong order.  He got home around 8 and my steak was cold (of course!).  We paid extra for asparagus and I had to throw it out because it smelled like gasoline–they threw them on the grill which normally would have been phenomenal, but here is a protip:  don’t use lighter fluid directly on the grill.  Or don’t put vegetables directly on gasoline, or don’t cook asparagus on the engine of a car.  What the fuck ever, it was gross.  It definitely wasn’t worth the money and we’ve decided to do Valentine’s dinner the night before from now on.  On the upside, the cupcakes I made were defuckinglicious:

So many cupcakes!

Some triple chocolate something or other.  Came out wonderfully, but seriously, does anyone get a full 24 cupcakes out of a box of mix?  I always get 22-23 if I really stretch it.  White icing with whatever pink and red sugar sprinkles I had on hand.  I ate one for lunch today, so I’ve got to get them out of the house ASAP.

Overall, still a good Valentine’s day.  I got the Mr. a Kindle cover which he says he liked but I swear, after all these years I feel like I still can’t read him sometimes.  Also, just for fun, here is a picture of my 13 year old cat looking old and grizzled:

Looking of into the distant past...or maybe just a spot on the wall.