How to Buy Friends and Delude Yourself

Not as popular (yet!) as How to Win Friends and Influence People, but the year just started, okay?

I have a psychological problem in that I see things that make me think of other people.  Crazy, right?

Oh, Richard would love this!
I want to make that for Cheryl!
Aww, that’s Amy’s favorite color.  Still hate that bitch, though.

And this wouldn’t be a problem because people like things and I like to give things.  I mean, it’s not a problem until it’s a problem.  For example:  Once upon a time, I worked in a customer call center for a decent sized company.  Of course I knew my immediate co-workers and knew or knew of people in the departments that shared my building.  Since our building was administrative, we shared space with IT, marketing, sales (but not accounting, what?) and were right next door to the shipping building.  Add to the fact that you had to go through my department to get to the break room and you’d find yourself hanging around trying to avoid work with people from all over the building.

On my lunch break one day, I went to Target to waste money and I found a decent sized whiteboard on clearance.  It had a very trendy at the time hibiscus flower/surfer design on it and was ridiculous sale for $2-ish.  So I bought it, thinking of a girl in a different department that I saw all the time and got along with well.  Let’s be clear:  we were just work acquaintances but didn’t think anything of seeing something, thinking of her, and buying said thing for her.  She was very confused, try to pay me for it, and I think was just felt generally awkward about it.  We are still social media friends and comment to each other from time to time though she’s since moved to Europe for her career.

And then there was the time I gave a hand made cross stitch Christmas ornament to a couple that were friends of a friend.  Doesn’t sound too crazy, but were strictly online friends.  My husband warned me that it was weird and creepy and not to do it, but my compulsion runs strong and deep.  They loved it and that was maybe 12?  13 years ago?  I’m still friends with one (they broke up o_O) to this day and I still send weird creeper gifts from time to time.

And then there was that time I hand knit a baby blanket for a girl I went to high school with. We had one class together when I was a sophomore.  We had a fun and interesting connection as adults and we chat from time to time online, but hopefully you see what I’m getting at.

Love this style of blanket!

I just do it because I want to, because something makes me think of this person and that connection gets made in my brain very quickly.  I’m not doing it for any other reason than I want to do something for my friends, the people I care about.  Here’s the thing though: I have that deep seated (or is the term deep seeded?) fear that someone will try to call me out on:  that I do it for attention, to insert myself into people’s lives, that I’m desperate for attention, and every other negative thing that could be motivating me.  It’s really not anything like that and more than anything, these thoughts are a by product of anxiety and skewed self image.

But….now I’m branching off into pseudo-celebrity notice-me-senpai territory.  I’m a big fan of podcasts but this past year (2018) I’ve been pretty obsessed with The Cryptonaut Podcast.  I enjoy it very much, it’s a small trio (vs a bigger production like Parcast or something similar).  When entertainment is produced on such a small scale, it’s easier to feel connected with the makers which is probably why I sent them a gift for New Year’s.  Nothing expensive, but something that I think all three will enjoy while also being relevant (in name at least) to their podcast.

It’s basically a tangible way for me to say thank you for all of the entertainment.  I also got a couple tee shirts for Christmas and they’re great because I’m a dork.  Go buy all of them because they’re neat-o.


I need to make a comprehensive list of stuff I like because that’s what blog are for, right?


2018 Wrap Up

time to blargh

I’m so ready for this year to be over.  This year has lasted forever and I’m tired.  Since I haven’t blogged for a year and a half, it seems even longer.  Special thanks to Facebook and Twitter for supporting this blog post by just being there so I can go back and remember stuff.  ‘I’m sure I’ll expand on this later’ is a great set of last words before abandoning this blog for another year and a half so let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.

Halloween 2017
Made a Happy
Sang with a Polka band

December 2017
I made a table.

new dog
new-new dog

finished Hogwarts banner
refinished a new table

Josh’s HP birthday

started teaching/learning Latin

yet another water leak
started yoga

repairs still not done

started co2 injection
made a headboard

started posting regularly in Art Project 201eight
started playing D&D

fantasy photo shoot
Simpsons birthday
fired contractor after wasting $5250


new used car
set my hands on fire

Gingerbread houses/Christmas
DNA test

So yeah, the past year has been eventful and for the most part, productive.  I’ve been considering what all I need to do in 2019 and I actually do have some plans and goals, one of which is to blog regularly and actually have content worth reading.

Or maybe just continue shitposting until I die.

Happy 2019!

Happy Boxing Day!

I don’t know how to blog anymore because it’s been so long.  I’m…trying but I’m also sick and tired and sleepy.  Until I learn how to organize my thoughts like a normal human again, here is a gift I got for Christmas:

but take no shit
do no harm

Mine is brass, not silver, but you should buy one in every finish.   I need to fix another bracelet that I used to wear daily so maybe one day I’ll be able to annoy everyone at yoga with my continual clanging.

This took ridiculously long for about 100 words.  Time to nap.