this thing is still about things

Random Fear: Oceans and Whales


I have always been fascinated with and terrified of the ocean.

I think it’s a fairly common fear, the ocean is vast, unexplored, and what we do know of it is beautiful but terrifying.  One of my favorite Youtube channels has done a few ocean-themed videos:
5 Most Mysterious Underwater Sounds Ever Recorded, Mariana Trench, 5 Extraordinary Sea Creatures just to name a nightmare inducing few.

If you ever get a chance to go to the Georgia Aquarium, you should go.  It’s expensive but the souvenirs are comparatively reasonable, lunch not so much.  3 years ago it was $3 for a bottle of Coke so I doubt the price has gone down or anything.  Still, totally worth it.

Below a whale shark. See, totally worth it. Amazing.

As a person who loves fish, it seems strange that I’ve always had nightmares about fish and whales.  I can’t actually recall any specific dreams about the ocean, just things that live in it.  The dreams often sound ridiculous or even cartoonish:  start at the 10 minute mark.  But all of them have a really ominous tone about them.  A fish tank, a swimming pool, something with dark green-black murky water.  Something is moving in the water.

Something big.

Often it’s a whale.  A huge whale where there should be no whale.  I can’t see the whole thing because it’s so big.  It breeches the surface, and sinks back down into the darkness.  Just typing it out is really uncomfortable to me.  I am drawn to and at the same time repulsed by whales.  On a spiritual level which I rarely discuss here (or anywhere for that matter), I have bits and pieces and hints of what it all means but at the moment, I’m choosing to deny and ignore it all.  I’ve had these bad dreams since I was a child and I’ll probably have them until I’m an old(er) lady.

Oh, that’s not terrifying AT ALL.

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