Once upon a time, I lived in a one room apartment in the Midwest!
the end
Turns out that my friend’s son is going to be taking summer courses at my old school. He’s 12, the little smarty pants! I got all nostalgic and thought I might look up that old college town on Google Maps, and in turn, my old apartment:

$200 per month for a single. I WAS A GROWN UP!
My apartment was on the fourth floor, or penthouse suite. ‘Only the best!’, I’d say, a la Pretty Woman. In all honesty, the hooker apartment was bigger than my apartment. I had a luxury corner apartment which meant I had 5, COUNT THEM, 5!!! windows. This made a great breeze on those unbearably humid Missouri days and nights with no air conditioner.

#411, because I had all the info, yo. Also, I would have killed for that window unit back in the day.
Unrelated: John Tesh eats his cereal with water. As in, he puts water on his cereal. The memory of him waking with his little plastic bowl of cereal to the water cooler and putting water ON HIS CEREAL is seared into my brain.

Monster
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