this thing is still about things

Lady Problems


No, not that monthly problem (too many bills, amirite!?).  The daily problem.  The every second of every day of your life problem.

Your ass.

Specifically the fat on your ass.  And all over.  And your self esteem in general.  Girls that have always been too skinny, I feel for you.  It’s not easy having boy hips and whatever else your problems are.  I would trade my six for your half dozen in a heartbeat though.

I officially started a diet this week because I’m tired of being a cow.

I Googled "pretty cow", not "whore cow".

Seriously, I feel like a cow.  I’d like to call it post pregnancy weight, but then I’d have to have been pregnant for the past 32 years.

Here is an actual pretty cow. I bet they didn't even airbrush her face. And check out those dreamy eyes.

Every woman I know, whether they are a size 2 or 20 laments about how fat they are and how they need to lose weight.  I promise you this: when I am a size two, I will never complain about my weight.  Because I will never be a size two.  Not even when I’m dead because I want to be cremated but that’s a different story.

So if cows are fat chicks, then what’s the appropriate animal for a healthy/not fat woman?  Giraffe?

Sure, why not.

Anyway, what was my point?  I’m suddenly hungry for steaks of all kinds.

Oh yeah, dieting.  Yay dieting!  I am being successful and I hope I keep it up.  Each pound feels like a pebble off a mountain, but I’ll take it.

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