children life work

Rock //insert myself// Hard Place

I posted a note about this on Facebook but I wanted to expand on it here. Because this is my blog and my place to whine about things. Where to start, where to start? Essentially, Halloween weekend brought about a HUGE family decision: I’m quitting my job, taking the kids out of daycare and becoming a SAHM. It wasn’t so long ago that I didn’t even know what SAHM was (an acronym for stay at home mom). I was never the stay at home type. And then I had a baby. And worked full time. And commuted. For two hours a day. And tried to actually keep a house and be a mom and a wife and a good worker. And then I had another baby.

And then it all kind of fell apart.

This year has been rough. Two deaths, a hospital stay and now a life altering decision that changes not only my life but the lives of my family. Crazy stuff. I never thought of myself as the praying type, but I feel like I talk to God in my own way and I’m glad an answer has revealed itself.

The idea of not working was akin to winning the lottery. It just doesn’t happen to people like us. But my industry went South and is still there. I own my own business for tax purposes but I contract for one person and she has gone off the deep end. Imagine working for a three year old. The conversations would go something like this:

What do you want to do?
I want to eat lunch.
What do you want for lunch?
I don’t know.
Do you want a hamburger or a hot dog?
Hamburger.
Are you sure?
Yes.
Are you sure?
Yes.
Are you sure?
Yes.
Are you sure?
Yes.
Are you sure?
Yes.
Are you sure?
Yes.
I’m going to go make your hamburger now.
Okay.
Is this how you want your hamburger?
Yes.
Are you sure?
Yes.
Are you sure?
Yes.
Are you sure?
Take it off the bun.
Okay. How about now?
I want ketchup.
Okay. How about now?
Take off the pickles.
Okay. How about now?
I want it.
Are you sure?
Yes.
Are you sure?
Yes.
Are you sure?
Yes.
Are you sure?
Yes.
Are you sure?
Yes.
Are you sure?
Yes.
Here is your hamburger.
Gross! I want a hot dog! Why didn’t you get me a hot dog?!?!?

Now imagine this is not a three year old, but a grown adult. Did your head fall off? Mine did.

The issues with school are actually nothing to joke about. I’m sad that we’re leaving because the decline in care made me seriously feel that my child was in danger. And this after I bought cupcakes for the Fall Festival:

Photobucket
This pumpkin looks like a fat, cross-eyed Asian dude.

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This is more money than I should have spent on a fat, cross-eyed Asian dude.

Also, look at that last picture again. Do you see the sell by date on those cupcakes? WTF? Are they made of plastic?

Honestly, if work was decent, I’d find a new daycare. If daycare was decent, I’d find a new job. But both just going to shit all at once with no end in sight forced us to make a new solution. Aut Viam Inveniam Aut Faciam

One more week to go. I’m sad at this turn of events. Scared of the unknown. Excited for a new adventure. Check back in 10 days to hear my laments of being home with the kids all day, hah!

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