Okay, maybe not. But for the record, I **LOVE LOVE LOVE** my refrigerator. It’s black and shiny and huge and that sounds like a description of a sex toy. Anyway, the reason I really love my refrigerator is because it thinks I’m skinny:

My refrigerator doors are a gateway into another dimension called “delusion”.

Yeah, I wish.

On a somewhat related random note, I am short. And my husband is tall. And tallness must equate with cruelty:

It’s only so messy because I’m a slob

What is so cruel you ask? Because I can only reach to about where those stainless steel mixing bowls are. So what you say? This is what:

Zebra Cakes is what. ZEBRA CAKES

Maybe if all the food was on the top shelf, my refrigerator and reality could meet up sometime. Maybe not. I would just find a chair to climb up on.