1. I really hated this girl in school. What a fucking brown-noser:

It’s good to know that dumb bitch is still alive and well in every school across the country, and especially in Atlanta.

2. I was alone in the office/warehouse where I work, with the doors locked and most of the lights out when I heard a horrendous crash in the back. I was sure it was a hobo or a ghost or a hobo-ghost. I discovered this:

It scared the hell out of me, but at least it wasn’t that homeless guy that works for the Boss Lady’s husband.

3. The fact that I did not buy this amazing item for the every day low price of $16.62 showed so much self restraint that I immediately went out and ate an entire cow:

If I even thought that my cats would get in it long enough to take a picture, I would totally go back and buy it.